WARREN, Ohio (WKBN) – On Friday officers were called to the Giant Eagle Plaza in Warren to investigate two white males who were running around the lot and taking off their clothes.
Timothy Cook, 32, of Leavittsburg entered the near by License Bureau, waved his arms around, exited the business and began masturbating on the sidewalk, according to the police report. The License Bureau then locked its doors due to safety concerns.
By the time officers arrived, they said they found Cook sweating profusely in the parking lot, acting like a “gorilla” by squatting on all fours, punching the blacktop, jumping up and down, screaming non-coherently and growling.
Another officer arrived to help detain Cook, who did not resist arrest. They called for an ambulance due to his erratic behavior and according to the police report, the ambulance administered Narcan to Cook for an apparent overdose. He was then taken to Trumbull Memorial Hospital.
The headline for this article reads:
"Police: Man Found 'acting like gorilla,' touching self inappropriately"
I'm pretty sure if this guy was acting like a gorilla then he was actually touching himself appropriately.
"Police: Man Found 'acting like gorilla,' touching self inappropriately"
I'm pretty sure if this guy was acting like a gorilla then he was actually touching himself appropriately.
The great method actors are no strangers to suffering for their craft.
Daniel Day Lewis wouldn't get out of his wheelchair on or off camera for My Left Foot. This left him with two broken ribs. Heath Ledger locked himself in a hotel room surrounded by comic books and clown pictures and hardly sleeping while playing the Joker. This left him severely exhausted and even more depressed. Robert DeNiro put on 60 pounds for Raging Bull. This left him fat for a little bit.
And in a desperate attempt to prove he could play a gorilla, Timothy Cook jerked off on a sidewalk. This left him in handcuffs.
He was naked, waving his arms, squatting, pounding his fists on the ground, jumping and yelling. Sure, that's pretty close. But if he didn't jerk off you would have never known he was a gorilla. You would have only thought he was crazy.
Bravo, Timothy.
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