Kids, You Might Want To Skip Jim Carrey's House On Halloween

NY Daily News - Jim Carrey’s late ex-girlfriend Cathriona White was “disrespected, degraded” and “called a whore” after the actor gave her sexually transmitted diseases and refused to own up to it, she allegedly claimed in a newly unearthed letter.

The undated dispatch to Carrey, obtained by the Daily News on Friday, appeared in a revised wrongful death lawsuit filed by White’s estranged husband Mark Burton claiming “The Mask” star had given her herpes type 1, herpes type 2 and gonorrhea; lied about it; then dumped her prior to her September 2015 suicide by overdose.

“I wanted an apology, to be acknowledged and to respect be (sic) enough to take responsibility,” the Irish makeup artist allegedly scrawled. “To say ‘I gave you this, intentional or not, I gave it to you I understand that this is something that will affect you for the rest of your life, your future relationships (or lack of because of this) what can make this right?’”

“Instead of that, I was disrespected, degraded, called a whore, an opportunist, threatened our relationship belittled,” the letter continued. “And I really don’t think you can see ... I’m just an ungrateful b---h who you done so much for and I took advantage. That simply is not true.”

The letter continued with White, 30, allegedly lamenting that she’d always “have a stigma attached” in future romantic relationships.

“I am damaged, I am discusting (sic). When I shower I feel sick, getting turned on ... what’s that? Definitely not something that happens to me anymore,” she wrote. "So I have to accept something I was always afraid of. Being alone."

A string of text messages also obtained by The News — purportedly exchanged in early 2013 between Carrey and White — appeared to show White’s repeated attempts to confront the actor and his dismissive replies.

After White allegedly described “bumps down there” and other concerns to the actor, his purported responses grew progressively more irritated.

“I hope your ok, hun. It could be from someone before me ... It should be fine though. Most likely something else,” Carrey allegedly wrote Feb. 20, 2013.

A later alleged text from the actor read: “K don’t want to talk anymore. Deal with linda. I’m done. You have ... become too much drama.”

White, who had dated Carrey on and off starting in 2012, was found dead and surrounded by prescription pill bottles — some of them prescribed to an alias for Carrey — in her Los Angeles home Sept. 28. A toxicology report later ruled her death a suicide.

"It is despicable that Burton, who claims to have been Ms. White's husband but never lived with her and did not even reside in the same state she did, now comes forward trying to cash in on her death," he said in a statement at the time.

How about Jim Carrey handing out STD's like they're pamphlets on how to avoid getting STD's....

Now I know a good deal of Irish people, enough to tell you that the ones who are into American pop culture are actually obsessed with American pop culture. And the Truman Show was probably a new release over there by the time Cathriona moved to the states a few years ago. So she still may have been a little behind the times in not realizing that Jim Carrey doesn't really rate anymore. So she thinks she's getting lucky setting up shop with the star of Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011), and he's just happy to have that adorable little piece on his arm. This girl was a doll. Imagine this poor girl on the phone telling her family how she met this nice, funny movie star and the whole time she's sitting there with 2 types of herpes and a gonorrhea. Nevermind that the only non-sequel Carrey has been in in the last 5 years was Burt Wonderstone.

It sucks how this girl decided to end things, but any reasonable person reading that story knows she had to have had a lot more going on than STD's. And I don't really blame the ex for trying to cash in. She must have left him for Carrey and this guy probably did love her and he's trying to make Carrey pay. He does look like a scumbag for trying but he's the one who has to live with that.

One thing is for sure...fuck Jim Carrey at your own risk. Hollywood is a cesspool.

There's Something Wrong With The World Today

Somebody sent me this picture today. So of course without really noticing anything I clicked on the pic and zoomed in to get a closer look at the girl. Now there are some things in this world, not to be compared with all the global ills of war,  poverty, oppression....But just some things unto themselves, in their own context not to be held up against anything else, you get what I'm saying....some things are just plain wrong. Perfectly photoshopping a dick over the vagina of an unsuspecting pretty girl's picture may sit atop that list. I only blocked out from their noses up because I think it's important to see that the girls are smiling. This looks like it might have been one of the best days of their lives. That brick wall looks unbelievable. All they wanted to do is take a nice picture in their bathing suits in front of that wall and the next thing you know it becomes prank text message material for complete strangers. Because I don't know any of these girls. Do you? And I have to tell you, if i did know a girl that this happened to, I would feel very weird seeing that pic. And I would also feel weird the next time I saw her for real, because even though I know it's fake...I still saw her dick.  I don't care if this girl fucked over an ex or slept with one of the other girls in the pic's boyfriends. Nothing deserves this. This should qualify as some level of sexual assault to be honest.

Naked Bird Pulls At Heart Strings

Fox News - A Boston bird with a rare illness that left her without feathers has gone viral — the pet’s Instagram page has gained more than 68,000 followers in five weeks.
Rhea “The Naked Birdie” is 2 years old, and has psittacine beak and feather disease (PBFD), The Boston Globe reported. The illness currently only affects the bird’s feathers, but could move to her claws and beak. Rhea doesn’t require special medication or treatment for the disease, but undergoes bloodwork annually.

As a psoriasis victim myself I can kind of empathize with Rhea here. We are both basically lepers. But click on that link, read the article and watch the short video. This poor thing. If this bullshit disease actually does spread and makes her claws and beak fall off...she's nothing but a wing ding. Fry her up. I've always thought one of the cruelest things man has done is clip the wings of birds sold as house pets. Flying is magic. To deny something its natural ability to fly is sour grapes at its worst. But this feather dropping disease is pretty fucked up too. It's also super contagious to other birds which is even crazier. So how if one bird in the wild gets this...don't they just all?

Do you know most non-psoriasis people think its just some sort of skin disease? Like related to hygiene and stuff. It's actually an auto-immune disease where for some reason your body thinks it has a cut and needs to heal it. So it grows skin in a spot that doesn't need anymore skin, so it just flakes and flakes. My body is just being overprotective because it loves me so much. Heartbreaking, really. 

#fuckpsittacinebeakandfeatherdisease

Not Today, Nigerian Scam Artistes

So today as I was doggedly looking for content for my ignored blog, I came across an article about some guy who found an abandoned infant rodent on the street and took it home to save it. He had no idea what it was until it got a little bigger and he put a pic on reddit and they all told him it was a flying squirrel. Anyway, this was one of those asshole clickbait articles where every paragraph was one page and you had to click 'NEXT' to read on. So after like 6 pages, because I really had to get to the end of this, I got the above image. I know its not super clear, but its a spyware message with a Microsoft banner and a warning message that all my shit has been hacked, a number to call, and even an audio message that its an emergency and you need to call. So I sent the pic to my laptop guy. Yeah, I have a laptop guy. And he was like "yeah, its a browser redirect virus and if you call that number there will be Nigerians on the other end waiting to remote in to your computer and steal your files and then hold them hostage til you pay to get them back." Now, I knew this was a fake message, you know its a fake message...BUT he told me he's had quite a few customers that have called him because they fell for this. Obviously if you fall for this you kind of thing you deserve to have your shit taken. But can you imagine what its like in that Nigerian hut when that fucking phone actually rings? I'm not a huge fisherman, but I've fished a good amount of times. And no matter how many times I've thrown that line in the water...everytime I feel a tug on the line I'm like "Ha! I can't believe this fuckin worked!" The sad truth is that there is nothing like putting a devious plan into place and having it come to fruition. It's fucked up. So when that phone rings in Nigeria those guys go fucking cuckoo, I guarantee. A zillion high fives. Probably like Boiler Room and then the head guy does the "just a little bit softer now...just a little bit softer now..." before he answers the phone. Microsoft, can I help you?

Florida Teen Wakes Up After Being In A Coma Which Happened After He Ate Someone's Face

What? I was hungry.

NY Daily News - The Florida teen accused of killing a couple and biting off parts of a man’s face has regained consciousness.

Austin Harrouff, a 19-year-old Florida State University student, is awake but has not been able to speak to investigators, the Martin County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement.

He has been in a coma since he was arrested for stabbing Michelle Mishcon, 53, and John Stevens III, 59, outside their home in Tequesta earlier this month and beginning to eat parts of Stevens' face.

I have to imagine being in a coma is pretty traumatic for the person's family. And the person in a coma probably just thinks they're sleeping and they have some pretty fucked up dreams from what I hear. So waking up from a coma has to be such a relief. Until that point, which I would guess is right after you wake up and you say to yourself, "Now what was I doing right before I fell asleep? Ohh shit. I was being tazed by the police because I just ate someone's face off. Fuck. Why did I do that?" Sounds like this kid was in a coma for a couple of weeks so who knows what new reality he had crafted for himself inside that twisted head of his...but it had to be a better place than the one where he killed two people and started eating one of their faces. Had to be. There is no way this kid's family wanted him to wake from this coma. How do you even begin to deal with that? I'm pretty sure the golden rule of going into a coma after committing murder and cannibalism is...stay in a coma. Such teenage hubris to actually wake up.

Cecil The Lion's Wives Move On

Daily Mail - Staff at the park feared Cecil’s pride – seven cubs and three lionesses – would not survive the inevitable fight for control of his territory.

But pictures taken this week by professional guide Lewis Mangaba reveal that two of Cecil’s mates have now accepted a new male to lead Cecil’s pride, which he hopes means the dead cat's legacy is secured.

'The lion is known as Bhubhesi and has been pursuing the lionesses for more than a year, since after Cecil was killed. 

'Up until now there has been conflict between them. He has tried to steal their kills and they could not trust him,’ Lewis explained to MailOnline.

‘The fact that they are now allowing him to mate with them, to be around their young means that there is an element of trust towards him to keep them safe.

‘It is unusual for a lioness to find a new mate within two years of losing their male, so this was unexpected.

So life goes on in the animal kingdom just like anywhere else. But just thank God that Cecil is dead. Because if I was a lion and my wife left me for another lion, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night because I'd be torturing myself with images in my head of them together. And this image above will haunt a cuckolded lion til his dying day. This is EXACTLY what you don't want to think about. Never mind having to see it on the internet. This alpha lion gently mounting her from behind, playfully biting her head while she smiles and writhes in ecstasy. I mean, cut the shit. I don't know what else to say other than this is one of the sexiest and most beautiful pictures I've ever seen.

Also, Bhubhesi plays a serious game. Stealing their food and stuff until they agree to fuck him. Can't get away with that in the city.

Shirt Tuckers Live The Life

Today Style - Perhaps most dress codes should say "shirt tuck required."

After all, research conducted by Fruit of the Loom in 2015 revealed that men who tuck their shirts in at work make more money than those who don't. And we're not talking mere pennies: The average salary for tuckers was $77,886 versus $65,578 for the non-tuckers. The survey also found that tuckers are happier at work and more optimistic about the future.

That $65K average salary for non-tuckers has to be inflated by NBA players. Because people who don't tuck in their shirt are slobs who have given up on life and shouldn't be making more than 22K/year. Like what are you saying to yourself when you get home from work and loosen your tie and pull your shirt out of your pants? You're saying "What a day, I give up, I've had enough". Untuckers are saying that from the minute they wake up. Don't get me wrong, of course there are situations and styles that demand an untucked shirt, but I have to assume this study was done relative to conventional shirt tuck scenarios. So if you work in an office and are walking around with your shirt untucked, casual Friday or not, you're not right in the head and probably don't even realize that you're making 12K less than the tucker next to you. So of course people who tuck are happier and more optimistic. But it's not like an untucker can just start tucking and his life will change. That ship has already sailed. You don't tuck to be happy. You're already happy, so yeah, you tuck.

I Hope Johnny Depp Realizes He's Not Dead

The Morning Ledger - Johnny Depp dead rumors surfaced on the internet but, aside from that, he is also facing many other controversies including his alleged re-connection to ex-girlfriend Kate Moss. This comes after his scandalous divorce with Amber Heard.
The Johnny Depp dead rumors state that the Pirates of the Caribbean star drowned himself due to his recent ordeal with estranged wife Heard. Meanwhile, others mistakenly thought that he died instead of Gene Wilder since he also played Willy Wonka for the remake of the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film.
It appears that the Alice in the Wonderland star is having a very tough time as he faced the Johnny Depp dead rumors as well as the stories about him and Moss.

I guess it's not that surprising that some people could hear that the guy who played Willy Wonka died and assume it was Johnny Depp. And I could see that picking up some steam in the internet clubhouse.

But why is Johnny Depp having a hard time with these rumors? Is he worried that they might be true? Do people keep coming up to him and asking him if he's dead and he's not sure how to answer them? Not everyone who plays Willy Wonka dies at the same time. He's gotta know that. Or maybe he's worried because the real Johnny Depp died after the original 21 Jump Street TV series and the exceptional weirdo we've been treated to on the big screen for the past 30 years is actually an alien. We all know he tried to disrupt Australia's ecosystem with his dogs so the existing Johnny Depp is definitely up to something.

Now if Amber Heard left me, I might kill myself. But that's me. What was she doing with me in the first place? Johnny will be fine.

Ohio Man Acts Like A Gorilla, Nails It

WARREN, Ohio (WKBN) – On Friday officers were called to the Giant Eagle Plaza in Warren to investigate two white males who were running around the lot and taking off their clothes.

Timothy Cook, 32, of Leavittsburg entered the near by License Bureau, waved his arms around, exited the business and began masturbating on the sidewalk, according to the police report. The License Bureau then locked its doors due to safety concerns.

By the time officers arrived, they said they found Cook sweating profusely in the parking lot, acting like a “gorilla” by squatting on all fours, punching the blacktop, jumping up and down, screaming non-coherently and growling.

Another officer arrived to help detain Cook, who did not resist arrest. They called for an ambulance due to his erratic behavior and according to the police report, the ambulance administered Narcan to Cook for an apparent overdose. He was then taken to Trumbull Memorial Hospital.

The headline for this article reads: 
"Police: Man Found 'acting like gorilla,' touching self inappropriately"
I'm pretty sure if this guy was acting like a gorilla then he was actually touching himself appropriately.

The great method actors are no strangers to suffering for their craft.

Daniel Day Lewis wouldn't get out of his wheelchair on or off camera for My Left Foot. This left him with two broken ribs. Heath Ledger locked himself in a hotel room surrounded by comic books and clown pictures and hardly sleeping while playing the Joker. This left him severely exhausted and even more depressed. Robert DeNiro put on 60 pounds for Raging Bull. This left him fat for a little bit.

And in a desperate attempt to prove he could play a gorilla, Timothy Cook jerked off on a sidewalk. This left him in handcuffs.

He was naked, waving his arms, squatting, pounding his fists on the ground, jumping and yelling. Sure, that's pretty close. But if he didn't jerk off you would have never known he was a gorilla. You would have only thought he was crazy.

Bravo, Timothy.

Who Does John Connolly Think He's Kidding?

I was watching Black Mass last night, which was just whatever. But one thing that stood out to me was this move by John Connolly here. He offers his boss tickets to a Red Sox game on June 11, 1985. When his boss declines he tries to tempt him with "You sure? Clemens is pitching..." Roger Clemens' rookie season was 1984 in which he went 9-4 with a 4.32 era in 21 games. His breakout season came in 1986 when he started off 14-0 en route to a 24-4 finish and took home a Cy Young, an MVP and a game jersey with Wade Boggs' tears on it. Going into that June 11, 1985 start Clemens was a respectful 6-4 with a 3.44 era. So who is Connolly fooling kissing up to his boss by pimping out a pitcher who was not quite a household name? Clemens did start that game, no decision and the Sox lost 5-3. His boss would have had a terrible time! Nice try, Connolly. Fucking weasel.