Clowns Appearing, Disappearing and Reappearing In South Carolina Woods

South Carolina - CBS News - There’s a man-made trail winding through the woods near the Fleetwood Manor Apartments, leading to an abandoned home on the edge of a pond. Children say clowns live there.

Police in Greenville County in northern South Carolina haven’t been able to substantiate the children’s claims, but a police report from the first clown sightings on Aug. 21 reveal a “suspicious character ... dressed in circus clown attire and white face paint, enticing kids to follow him/her into the woods.”

A woman told a responding deputy that her son had “seen clowns in the woods whispering and making strange noises” at around 8:30 p.m. that night, according to the report, which was obtained by 48 Hours’ Crimesider.

She said the boy led her to where he saw the clowns, and then she also saw them “flashing green laser lights” before they ran away into the woods, according to the report. Around that same time, the woman’s older son reported hearing ”chains and banging on the front door” of their residence.

The “large-figured clown with a blinking nose, standing under a post light near the garbage dumpster area”  waved at her, and she waved back, according to the police report. “The suspect did not approach her or harm her.”

Several children in the area told police clowns had displayed “large amounts of money” in an attempt to lure them into the woods. 

Greenville County Sheriff’s Office Master Deputy Ryan Flood told Crimesider deputies investigated the house but found no clues.

Flood said witnesses have declined to give police their names.  

In one of two sightings reported on Monday night, a teenage girl told sheriff’s deputies she saw a man taking pictures of kids, and shortly after, saw a man wearing a black jacket and clown mask coming out of the woods.

In another incident that was not reported to police, residents told WSPA that they chased clowns after kids told them the clowns were by the playground. They told the station they saw the clowns drive away in a dark-colored car.

It is not clear how many clowns were inside the vehicle.

“To my knowledge, there haven’t been any kind of circuses in town,” Flood said. “There’s crazy stuff all the time, but nothing along the lines of this to my knowledge.”

I dare you to find a more frightening paragraph in the history of the written word than the first paragraph of this article.

So to sum this up, in just over a week there have been multiple reported sightings by adults, teenagers and kids of clowns mucking about the woods making noises, flashing lasers, taking pictures and flashing money at kids.

They claim they're all living together in an abandoned house yet the police have searched the whole woods and the house and haven't found a shred of evidence to support the claims. Oh, and the witnesses won't give their names. Oh, and according to the Sheriff's office, there ain't been no kind of circuses in town. And while the article doesn't specifically mention it, not one witness ever had a phone within reach to snap a pic or vid before the clowns vanished.

I think the safe assumption here is that this is alien-related. Obviously, they aren't living in the house, they're living underground or maybe even in the pond itself. This is just one of what will probably be thousands of small-unit offenses of varying methods (ie: not always clowns) set up by the aliens across the nation. In this case the clowns are making the townsfolk appear to cry wolf. They show up and wave then drill themselves into the ground before anyone knows whats what. And once all the authorities are convinced its bullshit and they settle down for a deep country sleep...The clowns will attack only this time the lasers will be real, vaporizing citizens one by one. The money will be fake though. No one is getting money from the clowns.

If by some small chance its not aliens, then it could be an elaborate marketing scheme for the remake of Stephen King's "It".

The author had to have known what he was doing when he wrote this line.. "It is not clear how many clowns were inside the vehicle."
Hilarious. Of course no one knows how many clowns were in that car. Alien or human, the most impressive power of clowns is their ability to maximize space inside of a car. If history is any indication it's safe to say there were no less than 12 clowns inside of that car.

But seriously though, this story is either totally made up or the witnesses are lying or the police are covering some shit up. Nothing about this story makes sense.

.