Tuesday, November 20, 2012

That Guy My Ass

So Showtime On Demand has a documentary called "That Guy...Who Was In That Thing". It's about a bunch of character actors who are undeniably recognizable but whenever you see them all you can say is, "Hey, it's that guy.." You don't know their name and you're lucky to remember one thing they were in at all. Anyway, I don't know how many people they approached for this documentary but their list leaves a lot to be desired. There are no hard and fast rules to what exactly makes someone a "that guy", but I'm gonna lay out some loose guidelines and then see how their choices measure up. The first thing you think of when you see a guy is a big indicator. If you think of his real name, he's probably isn't a that guy. If you think of a role he is forever linked to, again...no. If a bunch of shit runs through your head, now you're getting somewhere. But for the most part its a judgment call and it's on a case-by-case basis. Okay, here are the actors featured in the documentary:

Xander Berkeley
Immediately think: George Mason from "24". Followed by Air Force One and Nikita.
Also think: I can't believe I never realized he was the Navy guy in A Few Good Men who assigned the case to Caffey and Weinberg.
Is he a That Guy?: Yes. Even though I had seen the name Xander Berkeley all over the place on different show's credits. Not until Nikita, did I actually put it together that it was this guy. I no longer watch Nikita. Not cause of this guy, I just lost interest.

Bruce Davison
Immediately think: Hey, it's Bruce Davison. X-Men, Harry and the Hendersons TV Show, Administrator of Susan's estate on Seinfeld.
Also think: He's related to Ed Begley, Jr. and I have no idea why they're keeping it a secret.
Is he a That Guy?: I say no. It's Bruce Davison. I know who he is and I think lots of other people do too.


Mark Rolston
Immediately think: It's Boggs from Shawshank!
Also think: It's Boggs from Shawshank!
Is he a That Guy?: No. Even though this guy's been in a bunch of other things and no one's ever gonna remember the name Mark Rolston, you never say "that guy". You say Boggs. Gotta draw the line somewhere.

Rick Worthy
Immediately think: That's not Mike Cannon from Las Vegas but maybe it's the black guy who married Keira Knightley in Love Actually.
Also think: I have no fucking clue who this guy is but did you know that Rick from the Walking Dead was the guy who pined for Keira Knightley, his best friend's wife, in Love Actually?
Is he a That Guy?: I looked him up and he was in some Star Trek stuff...but cut the shit.

Stanley Kamel
Immediately think: Tony Marchette, Antonia's dad, from the original 90210.
Also think: He was Amanda Woodward's boss who I think hung himself in Melrose Place. All these same thoughts ran through my head when I saw him pop up on the In Memoriam list during the Oscars a few years ago.
Is he a That Guy?: Debatable, I guess. But not in my book.

Timothy Omundson

Immediately think: It's Brom the idiot, wannabe gold-digger from Deadwood Season 1.
Also think: Stop looking at me like that.
Is he a That Guy?: I say no. Sure he's been in other stuff. Like I remember him in Jericho, but when I see him my memory doesn't start racing to remember all the other shit he was in.

William Morgan Sheppard
Immediately think: Heyyyy, youuuu!!??? I honestly have never seen this guy in anything and I refuse to look up his IMDB to prove myself wrong.
Also think: I did Google Image him to get this pic and his name didn't even autofill as a potential search result until the second P in his last name.
Is he a That Guy?: No fucking way.

Zach Grenier
Immediately think: This guy has been in a bunch of shit. Vintage that guy material. And the only role I can think of off the top of my head is the pot smoking producer in Entourage.
Also think: Speaking of Entourage, girls probably see his name in the opening credits of shows sometimes and smile because they think they're gonna see Adrian Grenier, aka Vince.
Is he a That Guy?: No question. Almost offsets the whole William Morgan Sheppard debacle.

Craig Fairbrass
Immediately think: This guy looks familiar.
Also think: But not familiar enough. Maybe he'll be in Strike Back season 3??
Is he a That Guy?: No. He's a "who?".

JC Mackenzie
Immediately think: Hey, it's Dexter's neighbor who wanted to fuck Rita and Dexter scared the fuck out of him in his garage.
Also think: Lot's of commercials too.
Is he a That Guy?: This is the one that separates the Strict That Guy constructionists from the Loose That Guy constructionists. I'm a strict one.

Matt Malloy
Immediately think: Is that the high-talking husband who thought his wife was cheating on him in Seinfeld?
Also think: It's not, but this guy does have one of those faces that I feel like I see everywhere.
Is he a That Guy?: Borderline. But I won't look at you funny if you think he is one.

Paul Guilfoyle
Immediately think: It's Captain Brass from CSI.
Also think: Was in Cadillac Man.
Is he a That Guy?: I think he might have started off as a recurring character but this guy has been a series regular for the greater majority of the run of one of the most successful shows in TV history; almost 300 episodes. He's not a that guy. He's Captain Jim Fucking Brass from CSI.


Robert Joy
Immediately think: Seth Myers afflicted with progeria.
Also think: Do I not watch nearly as much TV as I think I do?
Is he a That Guy?: No. Seriously, who the fuck is this guy?

Gregory Itzin
Immediately think: It's President Charles Logan from "24", and shame on you if it's not what you think.
Also think: Never forget, never forgive. RIP David Palmer.
Is he a That Guy?: Fuck no. Once you become forever and universally identified with one character like Greg is with Pres. Logan, your that guy card gets shredded. No two ways about it.

Wade Williams
Immediately think: The asshole prison guard from Prison Break.
Also think: He's been in some other stuff too but nothing as memorable as the scene in Prison Break when he dipped his french fries in his milk shake. That, coupled with the way he slurped his shake still make me sick to my stomach to think about.
Is he a That Guy?: Doesn't feel like one to me. I'm getting tired of coming up with different ways to say why not.

Zeljko Ivanek
Immediately think: Damages, "24", The Event, Trueblood and a thousand other things.
Also think: Impossible that he doesn't speak in an Eastern Euro accent in real life.
Is he a That Guy?: Yes! He's a that guy hall of famer. He's been in a bunch of shit. He usually plays an impactful character, no matter how featured he is in the episode or series. He's all over the place.


Now here are just a few true that guys who either turned down the producers offer to be in the documentary or never occurred to them at all:

William Fichtner

Immediately think: The man who asked permission to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man he's ever met.
Also think: Prison Break, Drowning Mona (hilarious fucking movie), Invasion (great TV show that the rest of the world was too stupid to appreciate)
Is he a That Guy?: Textbook.

Richard Gant
Immediately think: Ossie Davis looks great.
Also think: Honestly, I've seen this guy in a bunch of stuff and always assumed he was Ossie Davis. Finally the other day I watched some quirky comedy where Rachel Bilson fell in love with some kid even though he'd been stalking her since childhood, anyway this guy was in it and I thought "How the fuck does Ossie Davis look so good? Grumpy Old Men was like 20 years ago, he has to be 90 by now". So I looked it up and Ossie is long dead and this guy's name is Richard Gant.
Is he a That Guy?: Ya, he's been one the whole time.

Michael Gaston
Immediately think: Jesus Christ, this fucking guy again!
Also think: Prison Break, Fringe, Jericho, Mad Men, The Mentalist, Last Resort...you can't even call yourself a prime time drama these days until Michael Gaston shows up. I almost shit when I first saw Inception assuming I was in a Gaston-free zone only to see him snag 10 seconds of screen time as the customs officer who says "Welcome Home" to Leo at the end. The fact that this guy never guest starred on LOST blows my mind. He is literally in everything.
Is he a That Guy?: He will probably go down in history as the gold standard of that guys. When I went to Google image him earlier I typed his name in as Quinn Gray. When that only returned results of a kidnapped rich woman, I had to look up his real name by IMDB'ing Jericho. And as it turns out his name on Prison Break was Quinn and his name on Jericho was Gray. That guy at it's finest. Role after role just running into each other in your head.